I have been suffering in various forms with the Lurgies for 1 week now, and have had to also deal with Toddler suffering with a fever her own version of course. She has been better for the past 2 days, I have not and have had enough.
Grump.
I have not been out of the house since Monday and am very fed up.
Grump.
It is my 30th Birthday this Saturday and we had planned a lovely trip to London visiting sites and being all touristy.
Lurgies please please 'go way' (as Toddler would put it) so I can have a nice Birthday.
Thursday, 4 February 2010
.
The mist creeps back in casting it's shadow of nothingness over all that should be covered with warm bright sunshine. It isolates me from what I love and saps my passion for this world leaving me fantasising on how to escape.
Bohemian Rapsadoy plays over and over in my mind for it is now I understand that nothing really maters at all.
Bohemian Rapsadoy plays over and over in my mind for it is now I understand that nothing really maters at all.
Sunday, 31 January 2010
Rant...
I have a mild cold that makes me feel like I have been slapped in the face by a gigantic wale. Toddler is in our bed and somehow has a fever and sleeps restlessly waking every 15 minutes or so telling me 'go way' while I try to soothe her back to sleep.
So I am not overly pleased at the unannounced house guest sitting in my living room who turned up at 21:30 taking my husbands time up with god knows what when all I want is him to go to some keebab place and fetch me the most dirtist donner kebab known to man kind for me to scoff.
Life is such a bitch...
So I am not overly pleased at the unannounced house guest sitting in my living room who turned up at 21:30 taking my husbands time up with god knows what when all I want is him to go to some keebab place and fetch me the most dirtist donner kebab known to man kind for me to scoff.
Life is such a bitch...
Friday, 29 January 2010
Baby Steps
After bitching for so long about 'I don't know what I want to do with my life', I have decided to take several steps in arriving at what 'I am going to do with my life'.
Starting with creating a Photo Journal/Blog type thing. I am going to take a photo every day and post it on my blog. By doing this I want to capture precious moments in my life that I would otherwise forget about and also take time out of the mush in my head to take notice of all the precious things around me.
My next step is to research into how other once career minded mums have coped with giving it all up for thier little ones.
Reading my post back to myself I realise that none of my steps are monumental but just little Baby steps. Well it's a start.
Starting with creating a Photo Journal/Blog type thing. I am going to take a photo every day and post it on my blog. By doing this I want to capture precious moments in my life that I would otherwise forget about and also take time out of the mush in my head to take notice of all the precious things around me.
My next step is to research into how other once career minded mums have coped with giving it all up for thier little ones.
Reading my post back to myself I realise that none of my steps are monumental but just little Baby steps. Well it's a start.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Belly gettin Bigger!
This baby is starting to grow! For the last few nights I have needed a night time wee, my size 12 maternity clothes are getting tight, I have that 'full' feeling even though it's not about food and I'm starting to waddle....ahhh the joys of pregnancy sheer bliss...
Saturday, 23 January 2010
23 things that make me Happy
1. Listening to Music
2. Going to the Cinema
3. Going out to Dinner with friends
4. Reading Books & The Sunday Times & Instyle Magazine
5. Daydreaming
6. Writting my blog
7. Eating yummy food
8. Watching Reality Shows
9. Nice Husband cuddles
10.When Toddler realises I'm lagging behind and says 'Mama come'
11. When my Mum cooks me my favourite foods
12.Having my hair done
13.Getting dressed up & feeling amazing
14.Learning something new & interesting
15.Spending time with funny people
16.Cuddling my dog when he's clean
17.Shopping
18.Being creative
19.Travelling
20.My bed
21.Going for lovely walks with my lovely family
22.Computer games
23.Playing sports/gym
Funny how this post started as a list of 5 :)
2. Going to the Cinema
3. Going out to Dinner with friends
4. Reading Books & The Sunday Times & Instyle Magazine
5. Daydreaming
6. Writting my blog
7. Eating yummy food
8. Watching Reality Shows
9. Nice Husband cuddles
10.When Toddler realises I'm lagging behind and says 'Mama come'
11. When my Mum cooks me my favourite foods
12.Having my hair done
13.Getting dressed up & feeling amazing
14.Learning something new & interesting
15.Spending time with funny people
16.Cuddling my dog when he's clean
17.Shopping
18.Being creative
19.Travelling
20.My bed
21.Going for lovely walks with my lovely family
22.Computer games
23.Playing sports/gym
Funny how this post started as a list of 5 :)
I need Space
Having not really enjoyed this pregnancy at 25 weeks pregnant I am on countdown to when I can have my body back. I would like to breastfeed again but I am filled with dread when I think of somthing constantly attached to my breast draining me of all my energy and the goodness that my body needs.
I breastfeed toddler untill she was 15.5 months old and addmitadly it was me that didn't want to stop. I was afraid at how she would react at being denied her comfort and I was afraid that our realtionship would change and she wouldn't want me anymore.
I couldn't have been more wrong. It took around 4 days for her to be weaned off and she still loved me :)
So why am I so afraid to breastfeed this time around? I know the benefits for baby and me, and of course the wonderful closeness we will experiance.
I think I miss being me pre motherhood and pre wifehood.
I miss working.
I miss having my own money.
I miss being able to do what ever I want (within reason)
I miss using my brain (organisng dinner, housework or what toddler will wear do not count)
I miss my old life.
I breastfeed toddler untill she was 15.5 months old and addmitadly it was me that didn't want to stop. I was afraid at how she would react at being denied her comfort and I was afraid that our realtionship would change and she wouldn't want me anymore.
I couldn't have been more wrong. It took around 4 days for her to be weaned off and she still loved me :)
So why am I so afraid to breastfeed this time around? I know the benefits for baby and me, and of course the wonderful closeness we will experiance.
I think I miss being me pre motherhood and pre wifehood.
I miss working.
I miss having my own money.
I miss being able to do what ever I want (within reason)
I miss using my brain (organisng dinner, housework or what toddler will wear do not count)
I miss my old life.
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