LOVEMYBABY

Parenthood Stuff

2010-11-04T13:57:00.000Z

I have always tried to be the best parent I could by giving my children the best childhood possible.

This will of course mean different things to different people, but to me it means my children being truly content and having high self esteem.

And all of a sudden it's hit me, this parenthood stuff.

The level of responsibility and devotion that goes into raising well adjusted human beings has started to overwhelm me and I am often left wondering at the end of the day if I get any of it right.

I wonder if I have given them enough love, laughter, stimulation, encouragement, food, positivity, fulfillment or value.

You see, I really do love my children and as a SAHM I believe it's my job to give them everything they need and when at the end if the day I think back to how the day has gone, I feel extremely disheartened if I have failed them by shouting or not doing enough with them.

I have had many a nights of feeling disheartened since Baby's arrival as I have not been able to give my all to Toddler which I was once upon a time able to.

This left Toddler extremely frustrated and her tantrums went through the roof and at the time I felt lost as common practices of time outs were just not making a difference.

I spoke to my new lovely Health Visitor about this who recommended me onto a Parenting course run by my local Sure Start center, which we have been on for the past 5 weeks, and it has made a World of difference
to our family life and especially to Toddlers.

The Parenting course's main philosophy is building relationships through play and how to do so in the best way.
At first I was defensive and thought "I know how to play with my child, what a load of old crap!". And as the course went on I was a bit more like "ahhh, I see!".

The course taught and made me aware of Play techniques such as giving undivided attention for at least 10 minutes a day, and when playing how to allow the child to lead by not asking any questions during play (which is much harder then it sounds) which in turn gives the child freedom of exploration.

Much of the course is about Positive Parenting which I love the concept of, but admit that putting into practice is not as easy as it sounds.

The Parenting course has definitely made me a better Parent which is something I will always continue to work on as I wish to give my children the best childhood possible.

Return of the Mother

2010-09-26T20:37:00.001+01:00

It's been a shameful 4 months since baby's arrival and I have only just returned to blogging.
Shameful indeed (shakes head with lowered eyes)
However, I do have a healthy beautiful daughter to show for my absense. Born May 18th by c-section weighing an enormous 8lb 8oz, life is defenilty not as we once knew it!

To my Babies

2010-05-13T22:02:00.000+01:00

Found: http://spinningbabies.simplwebsite.com/real-stories/273-one-mothers-two-pretty-tough-and-thouroughly-examined-birth-stories

The Beginning – Rabindranath Tagore

“WHERE have I come from, where did you discover me?” the baby asked its mother.
She answered half crying, half laughing, and clasping the baby to her breast,– “You were hidden in my heart as its desire, my darling.
You were in the dolls of my childhood’s games; and when with clay I made the image of my god every morning, I made and unmade you then.

You were enshrined with our household deity, in his worship I worshipped you.
In all my hopes and my loves, in my life, in the life of my mother you have lived.
In the lap of the deathless Spirit who rules our home you have been nursed for ages.
When in girlhood my heart was opening its petals, you hovered as a fragrance about it.
Your tender softness bloomed in my youthful limbs, like a glow in the sky before the sunrise.

Heaven’s first darling, twin-born with the morning light, you have floated down the stream of the world’s life, and at last you have stranded on my heart.
As I gaze on your face, mystery overwhelms me; you who belong to all have become mine.
For fear of losing you I hold you tight to my breast. What magic has snared the world’s treasure in these slender arms of mine?”

While Toddler is away...

2010-05-10T16:20:00.000+01:00

Have packed off Toddler to her Nan's so I can get some rest whilst waiting for the Baby to put in appearance.

So while Toddler is away Hubby and I have been able to spend some lovely time together which has not really happened since Toddler's arrival.

Yesterday we went out for a nice meal accompanied by a trip to the Cinema - together! Whoo hoo! We watched Iron Man2, his choice and no I wouldn't recommend it as it was over 2 hours long and not the best story line, still we had a very nice time together.

Later that evening we got to watch more stuff, stuff on the T.V would you believe it.

And the best bit off all me thinks are the nice uninterrupted chats and cuddles we get to have.

Due Date Came & Went

2010-05-07T06:34:00.001+01:00

Baby's due date silently came and went without any fuss. I had only one phone call to ask if I was OK (which I am grateful for) and spent the majority of the day very uneventfully in bed surfing the net.

My only source of excitement yesterday was that I had a wonderful session of reflexology using Clary Sage essential oil, allowing me and hour of complete downtime which gave me a chance to concentrate on my body, and I think I may have had mild contractions or strong Braxton Hicks.

The pain was in my lower back coming and going, and was accompanied by the usual tummy tightenings that I've been having for the past month.

Still nothing concrete enough to say I am actually in any kind of labour, so I shall continue to potter around the house until Baby decides it's time to put in appearance.

Pregnancy & Toddlerhood

2010-05-02T03:00:00.000+01:00

I am not coping to well with the combination of being due next week and having a high energetic 2 year old. I'm sure that since Toddler turned 2 her tantrums have increased and that amount of stimulation she needs has also uped.

Yesterday Hubby and I took her to the park for over 2 hours in the morning and on the way home she fell asleep in the car, and because she is taking so long to fall asleep at bedtime (9ish seems to be the norm these days) we are cutting her day time naps down from 2 hours to 1.

I woke her after 1 hour had passed, fed her lunch and her afternoon was then filled with the following planned activities (planned works better at the minute otherwise she turns into a feral child):

Sad & Water box play in the garden
Painting, Drawing & Stickering
Bubble Blowing
Watch 30 mins of WALL-E
Trip to Tesco
Plays with Dog and watches me prepare dinner
Dinner
Bath
Bed at 8
Does not fall asleep until after 9

I have no idea how else to burn off her energy! I'm sure she is not food sensitive to anything.

Am I expecting to much of her and this really is normal 2 year old/Toddler behaviour?

All I want to do...

2010-05-01T04:45:00.002+01:00

but just do not have the energy/organisation to do it:

Write
Journal Photograph
Play with the Dog more
Cook Chocolate Cakes with Toddler
Finish reading books I start and enjoy
Enjoy Hubby more
Pamper myself more at Home
Do more Arts & Crafts with Toddler
Keep in touch with Friends
Day Dream

I'm hoping that once Baby has arrived I'll get to do all and more, but I think more than likely I'm kidding myself.

39 Weeks + 2

2010-05-01T04:24:00.000+01:00

With given due date in sight I am giddy with excitement that I shall partly be getting my body back (I'd like to breastfeed) and most of all be meeting my Baby!

Yippee!!!

I'm hoping that I shan't go to over due, however I don't really have many labour symptoms apart from niggly back pains and annoying strong Braxton Hicks that do take my breath away and wake me up in the night, which I think are mainly brought on due to my taking of Raspberry Tea Leaf Tablets.

Oh and for the last couple of days I'm eating as if there's no tomorrow.

I'm also very bored.

I'm bored of sitting around the house dreaming of aimless tasks to give myself to do (the housework) and going for walks has lost it's appeal as the waddle factor truly has taken over giving passerby's something to humor at no matter what speed I go.

Fingers crossed that Labour will run smoothly

Introducing...

2010-04-29T14:42:00.002+01:00

our ever lovable mischievous, shoe destroying, going through the bins family Dog.

We have had him for almost 1 year and he has given us so much joy. Admittedly it's not always been plain sailing especially with housebreaking him and training him on his walks, however we have all bonded so well especially Toddler and him that his arrival in the family is firmly cemented.

Happy 2nd Birthday!

2010-04-29T05:22:00.002+01:00

Happy Birthday my Dear Daughter.

Yes I am late in posting but not when we celebrated your 2nd Birthday.

On your Birthday Pappa made you a delicious Chocolate Peppermint birthday cake starting at around 6 in the morning so it would be baked for when you woke, whilst I hurriedly huffed and puffed at blowing and arranging Pink Balloons all around the kitchen for you.

When you awoke and stumbled downstairs to greet us with your just out of bed crazy hair and squinty morning eyes, you were so happy to see us and so happy to see your Balloons! You immediately ran over to the balloons pulling them off the wall and began playing with them.

I gave you your breakfast of Weetabix while Pappa took the dog for a walk, and on his return Pappa dressed you and we sat at the table and you opened your Birthday cards and Presents which you loved doing and were able to do a great deal on your own! Very impressed :)

We took you to the temple for your Birthday Blessings and made our way to Thomas Land at Drayton Manor Park.

You had such fun! I was not able to join you on the rides so Pappa sat with you on the Helicopter ride, the Car ride and the Carasole.

Next you ran riot at the indoor soft play, and after enjoyed seeing animals at the Zoo section.

Before we knew it, it was home time. You slept in the car and little at home before your Aunties and Uncles descended all bearing lovely Birthday Presents for you!

We cut your yummy Birthday cake where you LOVED blowing out your Birthday candles and you made Pappa relight them a few times!

After a very long wonderful day you finally got to fall asleep at around 10:30.

Happy Birthday Toddler, we Love you very much
X

Preperation for Baby's Arrival

2010-04-11T06:08:00.000+01:00

I was in a mad panic a few weeks ago at the state of our lack of preparation for Baby's arrival, and now having tackled a few jobs I feel progress is being made.

Jobs done:
Labour bags packed
Our bedroom organised
Old clothes and bits around the house donated
Oven cleaned
Garden fencing up
Toddler's Toys organised
Gift to Toddler from Baby bought
Toe Nails painted (Very Important)
Hair done (Equally Important)

Jobs to be done:
Organise Toddler & Baby clothes draws
Unpack & wash Moses Basket & Swing
Loft hatch to be widened
Kitchen, Hall & Stairs, Living Room to be painted
Grassing the garden

I think we are doing quite well.

I feel Good

2010-04-10T00:30:00.000+01:00

I'm at week 36 having the usual niggley pains that comes with Braxton Hicks and Baby bouncing around on my pelvis bones whilst trying to get into position.

And you know what?
I feel good.

Last night and tonight Hubby was able to take care of Toddler on arrival leaving me to have a soak in the bath, lather myself with luscious body cream, light some candles in the living room and watch some films all on my own.

Ahhhh...Sheer Bliss :)

I feel hopeful about the future, our 5th year Wedding Anniversary is this summer and I've been day dreaming about Hubby romancing me with a lovely meal and then dancing the night away looking oh so glamorous in my prebaby size 8 special emerald green silk dress.

I think about how Toddler and Baby will be the best of friends with each other, playing together, getting into all kinds of mischief and of course fighting with each other.

I'm looking forward to the wonderful summer we are going to have this year with lots of lovely sunshine.

I'm Happy :)

Packing Up

2010-03-26T07:29:00.000Z

Finally it has dawned on me that I am going to have an actual baby and I need to do stuff.
Stuff like get my hospital bag packed, get the baby's bag packed & pack a bag for Toddler in case she needs to stay a night away while I'm labouring in hospital.

We are also in the process of revamping the house for the new arrival. Nothing major just a clean lick of paint over Toddler's beautiful wall art and opening up the hatch to the loft so we can actually get into it and use it as a storage area.

Also need to go through Toddler's newborn clothing and work out what we can reuse.

I can do all this in 7 weeks can't I?

eeekkkkkk!

All is Forgiven

2010-03-19T20:01:00.002Z

Toddler was in a foul mood yesterday.

Took her out to playgroup in the morning where she played beautifully until singing time where she decided to vent out at other innocent toddlers by kicking and hitting (luckily no contact was made), so I decided to end play time and take her home.
Whilst opening the car door I set her down on the pavement and she decides that it would be oh so cleaver to run across the road and run down the pavement.

NEVER has she done this before and it shocked me. I managed to get her back and force her into the car seat to lots of wails and crys of 'Go away Mama' & 'Hit Mama'.
She falls asleep all of 5 minutes and then refuses lunch or her regular nap.

I thankfully had a doctors appointment that afternoon and escaped by leaving her with hubby who was at home that day. He filled me in of all the fun he had with her and I wisely keep my thoughts of 'thank God I didn't have to deal with her' to myself.

This morning she wakes at 6AM playing with my nose, talking to herself and radiates me with the biggest smile I have ever seen.

My heart melts.

Inapproriate Toddler

2010-03-17T12:50:00.002Z

Whilst at lunch today at our local Garden Center surrounded by the Grandparent generation enjoying thier own lunches in peace, Toddler declares at the top of her voice:

POO!
I done Poo!

I do hope nobody noticed, yeah right...

Lovely Mothers Day

2010-03-16T17:56:00.002Z

A little thank you to Hubby and Toddler for making Mother's Day so lovely for me.

I really enjoyed their company was spoiled rotten when was given tea in bed, a pretty card and recived my asked for baby changing bag.

We had a trip onto town where we watched Toddler in her favourite past time of chasing pigeons, strolled around a contemporary art gallery (ark at us hey !!), had a yummy lunch at Pizza Express and finally back home for a much needed afternoon nap zzzzzzzzzzz

Doesn't get better then that I say :)

Happy 23rd Month Day!

2010-03-13T22:58:00.004Z

Dear Toddler,

Today you are 23 months old, and it is the last time I will be aging you in months as next month you will be 2 years old!
I want to tell you how much I love you and love you for all your amazing ways:

I love how you concentrate on a story and how you can become emotionally involved by either giggling away at what humors you, or how you can become concerned for a character in trouble.

I love how you tell people about Mario & Bowser from Super Mario World from the Wii.

I love how your sense of humor is developing.

I love how you tell me you 'need cuddle'.

I love when we ask you if your a baby your swift answer is 'no I not baby, dolly baby'.

I love how you play and share with your friends.

I love how your interested in cooking.

I love how you eat my kisses.

I love how you point your index finger in the air and wave it at me whilst saying 'don't mamma don't' with your eyebrows raised and head tilted to the side.

I love that your mine, I still look at you and can't believe I made you. Your so beautiful and clever. I'm so glad you choose me and your Pappa.

We love you very much.

xxx

Opening up to friends

2010-03-12T16:13:00.002Z

Recently a couple of friends have spoken to me about thier own experiances of PND.
One who has briefly meantioned her difficulties in bonding with her baby who is now 18 months old.

I really felt for her.

I had always seen the love she had for her baby but had noticed that somtimes her choices of care were not somthing I would do. Other people who also knew her commented to me how they found the new mum less then maternal.

At the time I would pop in and see her but I didn't pick up on anything.
I now feel like I failed her as a friend.

Not sure where I'm going with this post.

Comedic Toddler

2010-03-08T21:38:00.002Z

Toddler thinks she's funny.

Whilst eating dinner at the table conversation went something like this:

Toddler: Poo.
Me: Have you done a Poo?
Toddler: No. Poo. Hahahaha
Me: What about Poo?
Toddler: Eat Poo. Hahahahaha
Me: Eat Poo? You want to eat Poo?
Toddler: Yeh, eat Poo Hahahahaha

I have no idea where that came from!

She also gets me to sing the CBeebies Happy Birthday song to the dog (which can be understood), to the Chocolate cake, to the laptop and to Mario from Super Mario World on the Wii.

All of which she finds hilarious.

Crazy, crazy child!

I've been heard

2010-03-08T21:22:00.002Z

After 1 and 1/2 years of visiting my GP several times, breaking down at the Health Visitors a couple of times and asking for help from my Midwife who then refereed me to the Mother & Baby Unit at the hospital where I was seen by an incompetent psychologist, my visit back to the Mother & Baby Unit today went well.

The psychologist listened to my greviences and frustrations and has given me a plan to get me to see a CBT therapist at the hospital.

I am so relived that somthing is finally being done.

I have decided not to go on meds right now as I am 31 weeks pregnant and I belive that starting now could effect the baby so I have asked for CBT therpy to get me though the rest of the pregancy and once I give birth I can start on meds and continue CBT therapy.

Why did it have to be such a struggle to get to this point? I could have avoided so much suffering.

The Fog

2010-03-06T04:42:00.003Z

Unfortunately I'm not talking James Herbert.

I feel as if I have been wondering aimlessly in a Fog for a while. Some days I manage to find my way through it, and some days I feel completely lost to the point where if I try to look back over the last few months I don't know what's been going on.

Recently I have had a few episodes which I don't think are exactly normal even for a heavily pregnant lady.

Yesterday was one of them.

And I did one of the most difficult things I've done in a very long time, I reached out during an episode and was heard.

I don't want to be in a Fog anymore nor do I want any more episodes.

I want my life back.

I have an hospital appointment on Monday where my husband will be coming with me and I'm afraid to open up in front of him.

But I must.

The Lurgies

2010-02-04T14:32:00.002Z

I have been suffering in various forms with the Lurgies for 1 week now, and have had to also deal with Toddler suffering with a fever her own version of course. She has been better for the past 2 days, I have not and have had enough.

Grump.

I have not been out of the house since Monday and am very fed up.

Grump.

It is my 30th Birthday this Saturday and we had planned a lovely trip to London visiting sites and being all touristy.
Lurgies please please 'go way' (as Toddler would put it) so I can have a nice Birthday.

.

2010-02-04T05:18:00.008Z

The mist creeps back in casting it's shadow of nothingness over all that should be covered with warm bright sunshine. It isolates me from what I love and saps my passion for this world leaving me fantasising on how to escape.
Bohemian Rapsadoy plays over and over in my mind for it is now I understand that nothing really maters at all.

Rant...

2010-01-31T21:56:00.002Z

I have a mild cold that makes me feel like I have been slapped in the face by a gigantic wale. Toddler is in our bed and somehow has a fever and sleeps restlessly waking every 15 minutes or so telling me 'go way' while I try to soothe her back to sleep.

So I am not overly pleased at the unannounced house guest sitting in my living room who turned up at 21:30 taking my husbands time up with god knows what when all I want is him to go to some keebab place and fetch me the most dirtist donner kebab known to man kind for me to scoff.

Life is such a bitch...

Baby Steps

2010-01-29T19:21:00.003Z

After bitching for so long about 'I don't know what I want to do with my life', I have decided to take several steps in arriving at what 'I am going to do with my life'.

Starting with creating a Photo Journal/Blog type thing. I am going to take a photo every day and post it on my blog. By doing this I want to capture precious moments in my life that I would otherwise forget about and also take time out of the mush in my head to take notice of all the precious things around me.

My next step is to research into how other once career minded mums have coped with giving it all up for thier little ones.

Reading my post back to myself I realise that none of my steps are monumental but just little Baby steps. Well it's a start.

Belly gettin Bigger!

2010-01-27T20:54:00.002Z

This baby is starting to grow! For the last few nights I have needed a night time wee, my size 12 maternity clothes are getting tight, I have that 'full' feeling even though it's not about food and I'm starting to waddle....ahhh the joys of pregnancy sheer bliss...

23 things that make me Happy

2010-01-23T21:01:00.004Z

1. Listening to Music
2. Going to the Cinema
3. Going out to Dinner with friends
4. Reading Books & The Sunday Times & Instyle Magazine
5. Daydreaming
6. Writting my blog
7. Eating yummy food
8. Watching Reality Shows
9. Nice Husband cuddles
10.When Toddler realises I'm lagging behind and says 'Mama come'
11. When my Mum cooks me my favourite foods
12.Having my hair done
13.Getting dressed up & feeling amazing
14.Learning something new & interesting
15.Spending time with funny people
16.Cuddling my dog when he's clean
17.Shopping
18.Being creative
19.Travelling
20.My bed
21.Going for lovely walks with my lovely family
22.Computer games
23.Playing sports/gym

Funny how this post started as a list of 5 :)

I need Space

2010-01-23T05:47:00.003Z

Having not really enjoyed this pregnancy at 25 weeks pregnant I am on countdown to when I can have my body back. I would like to breastfeed again but I am filled with dread when I think of somthing constantly attached to my breast draining me of all my energy and the goodness that my body needs.

I breastfeed toddler untill she was 15.5 months old and addmitadly it was me that didn't want to stop. I was afraid at how she would react at being denied her comfort and I was afraid that our realtionship would change and she wouldn't want me anymore.
I couldn't have been more wrong. It took around 4 days for her to be weaned off and she still loved me :)

So why am I so afraid to breastfeed this time around? I know the benefits for baby and me, and of course the wonderful closeness we will experiance.

I think I miss being me pre motherhood and pre wifehood.
I miss working.
I miss having my own money.
I miss being able to do what ever I want (within reason)
I miss using my brain (organisng dinner, housework or what toddler will wear do not count)
I miss my old life.

Creative Mess?

2010-01-22T14:06:00.002Z

How much of it does your toddler create?
And how much time do you spend undoing thier works of genius?

I am all for free play but somtimes, just sometimes I would like to have a adult house where the cream carpet is not covered with juice marks or dirty wet dog staines. And our bedroom floor is not spread with little plastic toys that when trodden on make me say ouch. And of course walls that are only decorated with intended colours.

Or am I just a control freek?

2010!

2010-01-22T13:52:00.002Z

Yes it has been a little while hasn't it!
Ok, so up to speed:
Christmas was great without any hitches, spent Christmas morning at home opening presents and then spent the rest of the day and boxing day at my parents.
Went on a wonderful hoilday on the 1st of Jan celebrating my 30th early as I can not fly next month.

So I can be kinda excused for not keeping up with my Blogg, I'm pregnant with an almost 2 year old and had a very busy past month! As much as I love cloths shopping it was not easy finding cheap Winter Sun Maternity wear.

Oh yes, we also missed out on the big freeze while we were away! Ok no more showing off....:)

Happy Month Day!

2009-12-13T21:18:00.002Z

Toddler is 20 months today!

I love the way you make little stories up about the dog and blame him for all that goes wrong.
I love how you are always in your happy place and your smile and laugh takes me there with you.
I love how you swing your arms wildly back and forth when running
I love how your new game invloves bouncing on my head.
I love when you share your toys with your others
I love how you pick up your phone and have conversations with your Nan.
I love how your toys are your friends.
I love that you love chocolate.

I love you very much my beautiful baby.

Mama

2009-12-12T22:34:00.001Z

I have been pretty horrible to be around over the past 2 days. Tired and emotional I have not had any patience with Toddler.

I read this tonight and I vow to be give my toddler a better day tommorrow:

http://sleepisfortheweak.org.uk/2009/12/09/writing-workshop-mama/

x

Christmas is here!

2009-12-12T18:38:00.000Z

With a Christmasy chill in the air and shoppers busy with their gift lists it finally feels like Christmas is on the way.

We put the tree up, and what a tree! Crammed full of shiny baubles, bright fairy lights and topped with a golden star, our Christmas tree is lookin' good this year!

Toddler did an excellent job of decorating the lower half of the tree with non breakables and only at the end did she discover the foil wrapped chocolates and red stripy candy canes :)

Lets hope the dog doesn't discover yummys!

Bedtime

2009-12-11T21:08:00.000Z

Rather ashamedly we have only just got our almost 20 month old toddler into her own bed and her own room.

Yippee!

"I wish we had done this sooner" I tell everyone. I can now lie comfortably in my own bed without being kicked in the head several times a night.

What I don't tell everyone is how heartbreaking it is for me and hubby to hear her cry and call out for us through the night, leading to me and hubby arguing on the best way to handle.

I think we should let her cry it out with her learning to self soothe. He thinks that by picking her up in the middle of the night and bringing her to our bed will get her to sleep.

Errrr no.

Hubby spent the early hours of this cold, cold morning sleeping on the sofa.

Lets hope tonight goes better!

A Whole New World

2009-12-08T21:01:00.000Z

Ok so I'm new to this blogging game having only read posts of Alpha Mummy via The Times website, I ventured forward and explored new territory through the top ten mummy blogs and rather liked what I found.

Somthing a little stronger & wittier than the baby fourms, somthing that made me lol.

I've been trying reinvent myself for a while, toying with the idea of becomming a freelance webdesigner to signing up to Usborne books only after discovering I'm usless at selling.

I've also thought about writting. I always enjoyed the creative outlet I got from words.

So having stumbled across this mummy blogging world and recived support from fellow mummy blogger Jo Beaufoix who pointed me in the direction of LittleMummy's free Blogging course, I thought why not! I'll give it go and see what happens. And you know what? It's pretty cool.

Maternity Wear

2009-11-27T09:09:00.001Z

I remember when my Mum was pregnant with my brother some 22 years ago, and her shopping in Mothercare's limited Maternity range which was a small corner in the back of the store mainly consiting of tent like floral dresses and jean dungerees.

So when I became pregnant for the first time I was determined not to be devoid of any fashion sense or dignity.

The choice I have now compared to what my Mum had all those years ago is imense. I can keep up with current fashion trends and still most of important of all, feel like me. I can also shop online which saves me the hastle of wondering around the shops huffing and puffing whilst dragging around my toddler who hates clothes shopping.

My current online faves are:
http://www.asos.com
http://www.topshop.com
http://www.newlook.co.uk

All hail the online revolution...

A Big Hello

2009-11-26T15:43:00.000Z

Today I had my 2nd Midwife appointment. My toddler happily played with the puzzle table for 5 minutes before trying to escape the room, so I asked if the Studnet Midwife wouldn't mind getting my toddler some books from the waiting area. She happily obliged leaving my toddler happily playing while me and the Midwife got down to some the serious business of checking the me and the bump out.

My blood pressure was fine and aftrer a quick call to the hopital for my blood test results she proudly reported my iron levels were at 14.0. Better than most ladies! Midwife prodded the bump and was pleased with the development, listened to bump's heart beat again pleased. Bump is doing well. Great!

Now me. I feel like crap. Going into week 17 and this is the best I have felt all pregnancy. I even cooked Shepards Pie last night! Can you belive it? First time I have done a home cooked meal in months.

I tell the Midwife that I still feel weak, shakey and light headed. So Midwife wants me to see the doctor. I am a little worried. In past vists to my GP I have felt a little ignored and sometimes belittled. Midwife tells me to inform the GP that the Midwife has recommended the appoitment, so when I get home, I do as I'm told and will be seeing the GP tommorrow.

Wish me luck!!